Sunday, December 30, 2007
Yet another weird dream
I'm in some weird school place... almost like an abbey. The walls are made of rotted wood, and the floor is cold gray slate. The piping is filled with blood. I have to fix a leak. Blood is pouring onto my head, as I struggle beneath the pipe. Dripping off of the tips of my hair, snaking its way to the floor. Below the pipe is a staircase. I can't fix it, and its spewing blood everywhere. It pools on the floor, it's level rising steadily. Surprisingly it doesn’t fill the staircase. I walk down the stairs to escape the overflowing room. At the end of the steps sits a small door. It's a vibrant red and gilded with gold. It looks similar to the one is Alice in Wonderland. I push it open and see a room, with low ceilings and never ending darkness. I squeeze through the door, and crawl. I end up in a store, like one of those huge discount places. I'm walking through an isle of costumes. Hats, crowns, wigs, skirts, and ballet slippers cover the floor. I walk through as fast as I can, and end up at a makeup counter. There is a wall of lip gloss, and I examine them. My mom is in the store also, and she as if I want my allowance or not. I say yes, and pocket the money. I pick up a tube of gloss, and look at the price tag. $49.99. Above the rows of identical tubes, a sign proudly displays "discounted name brands". I put it back, and pick up another tube. It fits my price range. I wander off into another isle, and find my self looking for eye shadow. Me, who hardly ever wears makeup, is looking for eye shadow. I find some black and blues, and head off to the cash register. Its taking too long, so I drop my supplies and head off to a towering enclosure made of bookcases, each as tall as a skyscraper. Some how I end up at the very top of them, browsing the selves. I'm standing on one of those platforms painters use. I look down, and it looks as if I'm looking down into a rainforest. Vines and exotic flowers cover everything. I’m suddenly sad. There are so many wonderful books down their. Precious gems. I start climbing down, the book cases sway. After a very long time, my feet reach the bottom, it's covered with hardpacked dirt. Stones peirce my feet. I feel as if I've wandered underground, but the truth is, this is the ground, I just wasn’t on it. I'm looking at books, they have beautiful titles with winding script. I feel happy. I see a librarian. She’s struggling through thick vines. She looks surprised to see me, almost impressed. Somehow, I feel as though I'm passing on my thoughts to her. I think this section of the book shelf should be open again, reachable, and she agrees. Wake up.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Johnny Depp & Tim Burton
ACK! I'm in the last minuet rush to get all of my late-christmas presents finished. I've kind of neglected getting together with my friends for christmas... hope they don't mind...
Oi- for all you Paul Cuffians out there reading this, your all coming iceskating, right? Moday, 10:00.
Nothing left to write... c ya
Friday, December 28, 2007
My weird dreams
- I'm in school, taking my classes as usual, but everyone seems to know me and wants to say hi. I realize that I left my army jacket in my last class along with some of my notebooks. I go look for my jacket, walking into some classes, and find it in an unidentifiable heap. I take it and realize that I missed the bell 20 minuets ago. I take the nearest staircase up towards the third floor, where my science class is located. On the staircase, there are tendrils of seaweed hanging in the gap between the stairs, dangling off of the ceiling. I touch some of them and then have a vision of the most beautiful seascape I have ever seen, except for the fact that it's badly polluted. The water on the farthest side seems to have turned black and somewhat sludgy. It looks like the canals in Holland, except wider, less even, and with more waves. All of a sudden I feel like I'm going to cry, and tear my hair out. I take a few steps towards the water on the grassy bank, and try to step in the water. But before my foot falls, I'm back in the staircase, and I seem to have lost all of my clothes, but I don’t realize it. I keep walking towards my science class and realize I'm naked. I try to cover myself and keep heading towards my class. I look at my hands and see that I have found a gray blanket. I cover myself with this and enter the hallway where my class is located. I don’t remember passing a class full of Goth kids lined up against the hallway, but I end up standing next to them. The guy I’m standing next has seemed to have unhinged his one of his lip piercings with his tongue, though I don’t see it. It falls to the floor. I automatically bend to pick it up, unintentionally exposing my self as I do. He laughs, staring cruelly. I stare at some of the other people in the line, trying to see if they noticed. One guy with a glass eye/eye patch at the end of the line stares at my face sadly. I find this strange, since I once was in love with a guy who had a glass eye, also… A teacher calls the group of goths back into the classroom. I’m left in the hallway. One teacher steps out of my science class. She is new here, and seems to be around 20 years old. She offers me some clothes from her locker. While I’m changing, my other teacher walks into the hallway and says he wants to speak to me, but I tell him after I’ve changed. Wake up.
- I'm in school, in an auditorium that looks like a courtroom. It's enormous, with rows upon rows of seats, some on elevated stairs, but it looks small. We are all in formal dress, and I'm wearing a lavender ball gown. I hear myself saying somthing about a practise. I have trouble finding my class, so a group of people offer me a seat. I'm sitting next to a guy, and we are all holding tickets that look like movie ticket stubs. The principle is wearing a white wig, and he calls a class down to a large open space in the middle of the auditorium. He throws a thousand similar tickets on to the floor, and tells them all to find a matching ticket to their own. This act seems to hold a great importance, like if they didnt do it, they would be exicuted. The guy next to me says something like, "this is cruel". The class is pecking at the tickets like a group of chickens, picking up tickets in hope of finding a match. The event seems to be timed. Dissmisal. I end up on a school bus, next to some of my friends. One of them seems to be hitting on me. I get off the bus, and end up with another group of people. We are walking along a bricked edge, a few feet below us lies thrashing water. Some how one of the boys in the group ends up in the water. We panic, debating on what to do. It is taking too long, and the boy is struggleing. The group is overtaken by their own fright, ignoring the boy in the water. I dive in and try to help him, trying to pull him against the wall of stone. My feet are scraping rocks. We try to climb out, but the wall is too steep, and we are swept away by the current. Wake up.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Leave an opinion
Read the article. maybe watch the video. comment. leave an opinion. i hope you guys are as saddened by it as i am.
Sorry for such a bogus post. I'm not exactly in a mood to write, only to inform.
*forgot to add: the next week I start school my friend and I are vowing to silence for a week. Pretty much for no particular reason... or for a really big one I just can't exactly put in words. Whatever.
Just wondering- from my previous writing, how old do you guys think I am?
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
My Fears
- Walking up stairs (you can see out of the corner of your eye shadows and people creeping up behind you)
- Still water (like in a bathtub or a lake, not in a shower)
- Eggplants (Courage the Cowardly Dog)
- Microorganisms (dust mites, for instance)
- Getting overweight
- Being exposed
- Not being covered from the dark (but not the dark, and not dark outside)
Eh, thats all I got. I have to go get dressed for the family outing...
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Feel the Wrath of My Emoness-ness
I'm fucking sick. I feel like crying all the time. My parents are jerks. I screwed up school the last quarter and a half. I'm probably going to die early with my unknown blood disease or whatever. I keep wanting to cut my self again. School rocks too much. I have some stupid-ass crush on some kid I don't know that won't go away. People are swarming me at school. I just missed one of my best friends birthday party. I'm writing about this shit in a blog.
Ok, if you are reading this, I'm highly surprised. This blog is like a dairy for me. It doesn't get lost or destroyed, cause it's everywhere. That's partly why started it. The point of that rant was not for you to feel bad for me, because I know know one is going to read this, anyway. The point of that was to write down what I feel at the moment. Don't take it all that seriously.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Modeling?
OK, yeah, I know, modeling is for lifeless plastic people, but imagine modeling for a career, and making it big- beats teacher or doctor any day for me.
Nothing much today... the best thing that's happened to me is my dad chucking a fork at my shoulder blade. Oh, and some friends of mine are bringing vodka for tomorrow... their thinking of mixing it with Vitamin water- easy drinks in school. The best they can come up with so far is getting high off sharpies, which doesnt exactly work well by the way. Pfft.
Eek! Tomorrow is flower day at my school! That's when they sell carnations in the cafeteria at lunch and breakfast. Cant wait. *gags*
Friday, December 7, 2007
My Joints
My doctor thinks I've been bullshitting about it for a couple years, so he tries to let himself off the hook by feeding me a bottle of ibuprofen. Yay for drugs.
My docter is really quite an idiot, actually. This other time he tried to blame my joints for being weird on my platelets. He gave this visual demonstration on how platelets were like "overlapping plates," the dumb ass. Platelets, for all you smart people out there, are actually blood cells. They help blood clot. Whoo hoo. It's kind of sad when you know that and your doctor doesn't.
The docter we saw today was like, thats so not normal for your age (YOUR GONNA DIE!). Makes me want to laugh or something...
So now we are getting somewhere. We went to see some other dudes in lab coats, and now I'm going to have to have a ton of blood work done and other things that have names far too fancy for my brain to handle. I've already been tested for lime disease and been x-rayed a year or so ago- that sucked mega. Can't wait for a few more rounds of that.
Sorry, I must sound like such a wimp right now. I just feel kind of crappy. Oh well!
*flash back of the day: Brothers ask why I'm going to some joint doctor guy again: "I'm going to die. They're are going to put me down. Harry, here. You can have my bracelet. Luca- take my left shoe. I'm sure I won't need it anymore. (good times...)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Some Party and Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving sucks. My whole family pretty much (discreetly) hates each other. Most of the time we just watch tv. I played cards with two of my older cousins, though. Their pretty cool...
Its funny- they both think I look like a super model on drugs, because of all the black stuff I wear on my eyes.
Went to a pretty cool party on Saturday, one of my friend's from school. During some point I mentioned that you can smoke cinnamon, so we all ran out side (which is like below 30 degrees) coatless down the street to go buy some. They didn't have any, so we ran a couple of blocks over to another store. Same problem... oh well. There was this gross security guard who kept hitting on all of us- he was like 40 or something. He seemed especially concerned about me going out side with out a jacket. Whatever.... psycho perv. *flashback* :) We were dancing to Jeffree Star with out bras over our shirts stuffed with tissue paper- that made pretty funny pictures... they are floating around on myspace somewhere...
Whatever... I don't feel like writing more, so of I go-go
Friday, November 23, 2007
*cough cough. I wasn't looking up porn, mind you. It was one of those pop-up things that are marked "click here for music vids" or whatever. Luckily, one of my parents was on one of the compters right next to me...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Spaztastic
Woo... I can breathe again. Just had to make you jealous for a sec :)
Um, nothing that interesting going on today. Except that I probably made a total fool of myself (discreetly). I was having lunch in our usual spot (one of the unused class rooms for that period) with some of my friends. They were talking about this guy I was sort of interested in. Some how they figured that out. And I unknowingly confirmed it by laughing uncontrollably. Sighs. I'm such an idiot. Later I looked back in the hallway and I locked eyes with him for a sec. I didn’t know he was there, but I had some psycho feeling someone was staring at me. His facial expression was different. And he was staring at me. Fuck, I hope they didn’t tell him. One of the guys I was eating lunch with was practically his best friend. And, um, my best friend had before reported some of the staring, so maybe it wasn’t because of this... Whatever- I'll try not to sound so self-conscious and girly anymore.
Ok, let me get one thing straight. Not all of my entries are so... cliché. So don’t turn away just because of this one...
Kumbaya, kitties. Peace.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
My Blackmailed Years of Pretense
So, here it is:
There was this girl in my old school who had ADHD (I have absolutely nothing against that, by the way. I have many other friends who have it, too. I just had something against this girl). She was a total loony, a stalker, and many other words I wish to use, but won't, because I'm too lazy to write them down. But the worst thing about her was that she was over protected, by everyone in authority that got paid. Aside from her own mind, this kept her in a state of oblivion. She knew nothing about the hate that surrounded her, the people that disliked her so much. Because of this over protection, she had no notion that she had to develop. No notion, that she, aside from her ADHD, was not normal. As much as I hate to use that word, I think it fits quite well. She was still in her 7 year old state at 13.
Anyway, the point of this is not (mainly) to rant on about how horrible this girl was, but to rant on about how horrible and closed minded some adults can be. So I'll continue now...
Sometimes we had run-ins with each other in the bathroom, the hallways... I always said hi, or smiled, because that’s what you do in a small school. But one day she decided to attach herself to me. At first I had no problem with this; I thought it was semi-normal and that she wanted to become friends. But she went too far, to the near point of stalking me. I wanted to break the relationship that I had with her and decided to confide in a friend. We discussed "safe" ways to break it to her. One night, she got sick of me not doing anything (due to my lack of backbone at the time), so she phoned this girl herself and told her it was me, and that I wanted to speak with her tomorrow. She pretty good at duplicating my voice, I'll have you know. Naturally, the next day my personal stalker came up to me waiting for the schedulald dialogue. Of course I had not a clue in hell what she was talking about. About an hour later I got called into the guidance office, where I'd usually crash at for lunch time- just because the cafeteria sucks and that’s where some of my friends ate. The guidance counselor asked me about the phone call, which later my close friend choose to tell me about the existence of. Of course I was furious that my friend did that, and the situation was still a bit vague to me. So I got a couple of details wrong. Bam. Busted. I tried to lie and fix things, but they were still uncertain about what happened. So I pulled the whole thing on myself, trying to cover up for my friend and I at the same time. This worked, since they all appreciate honesty. If I hadn’t of done that, we would have both been suspended or something of the like, my friend and I. So after an hour long rant from the teachers about how wrong it was to take advantage of this poor mental girl (WTF, MATE?!) and a couple of yell sessions, we were free. Sort of. My friend was still in a bit of trouble for making the phone call. No more lunch with us for a month or two. What absolute bull. We got in trouble for some out of school activity, and for not wanting to be friends with this girl. There was nothing wrong with what we did, at all. They can't make us be friends with some one, or control our out of school lives. But at this school, they tried to. I was blackmailed into being her friend for two years. Even out side of school. One decline to a play-date or sleepover and I was dead. I would have been suspended or expelled if I didn’t plaster a smile on my face and parade the halls with the girl. Doing this also ruined my current friendships at the time. No one wanted to hang with me when this girl was around, which was most of the time.
I felt bad for her, that she was so over protected, because it didn't do her any good- unlike what her set of six parents and the school thought. I feel bad when this happens to people. It's a waste of effort, and you make things worse. And ruin other peoples lives while doing it.
Sighs. I'm done. Amazing how fucking idiotic adults can be, huh? Excuse me if you are one, but you do know what I'm talking about. If not you, someone you know. Or someone you know who knows someone. Think about it. (Laughing my ass off)
That was fun. I got to vent and practice my writing. Whatever... I'm going now. Bye.
Casey
And just so you know, that was a completely true story, no exaggerations at all. Ask any of my buddies.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Odd
I know, You behind the screen- "Oh, GAG. What is this girl thinking?" Well, yeah. But I need some way of keeping my thoughts in track.
I think I'm going veggie. I can't stand the thought of biting into a piece of dead flesh, webbed veins breaking apart, blood seeping out of steak, the abuse.... I'm fine with blood and gore (I admit it's perfectl entertaining), but I think it's cruel just to eat another living think that thinks as we do- to think ourselves superior. But someone’s gotta be in charge, huh? Whatevs.
Which brings me to the topic of anarchy and tyranny! I'm all for anarchy, but it wouldn’t work at all. Imagine... peace... no one in anyone's business... then some motha-fucka with a machine gun stomps in and wants to take everyone over. It would just be this never ending war, and someone would always want to lead or own- it's our nature. I think a good government should be between tyranny and anarchy- not to much control, but enough to keep that motha-fucka with the machine gun in line, to prevent warfare amongst our people. Yeah, yeah, I know, Government sucks, but imagine we lived with out it. It would be total chaos.
Which would you be more afraid of, by the way? Just wondering. I think I would be more afraid of anarchy, because then I wouldn’t know where anything is coming from- attacks, blah blah blah... Tyranny would be from one side, more predictable.
Much randomness...
...and this is Kelly (Casey) signing off!
arrivederci
Note to self: Sleepy Hollow? Ignore, all.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Pervy Mark
Ok- there is this total perv in my art class. I'm forced to sit next to him every Thursday and Friday. Joy. So yesterday I sat at my friends table cause we had a sub. She was wondering if he had ADHD- so I walked up to him and asked. Of course the dumbass didn’t know what it meant. After class he came up to us and was like, "What the hell is ADHD?" I told him it’s when you have an erection that lasts over four hours. You should have seen his face!! It was a mix of awe, wonder, disgust, and sorrow- sorrow that he didn’t have this so called "ADHD". Of course, he made this big scene in the hallway for everyone to hear, but that, clearly, was the joy of it. Later I told him what ADHD really was- attention deficit hyperactivity disorder :)
I was just wondering why I made my blog pink. I mean, I'm ok with pink, but I won't wear it and it is certaintly not my favorite color. Why wont I wear it, you ask? Cause it so frigging stereotypical for girls to wear pink. I hate it when it makes guys think they can walk all over you or makes them think they're better. By the way, does pink really turn you on that much? Whatever, I'm not a guy, so I won't comment on it.
My cousin came over today and she thought I dressed like Janis from Mean Girls. My outfit was randomly thrown together and swept of my floor today- so... yeah. Ugh- I'm going to stop thinking about my clothing, its making me vain.
I want some freaking body mods now!! We're talking tattoos, piercings, scarifications... I just WANT them. Partly to piss people off, but mostly cause I already have in mind what I want done- and I have to wait what seems like forever till I can get them done. Heres a list of what I want:
-Corset piercings (I probably wont get them done, but I think they look awesome)
-My ears completely pierced- at least 5 piercings (a row of them on my lobe, a conch, multiple helixes, a daith, a rook, an industrial...)
-Scarification done on the lower left part of my rib cage- a couple of roses sweeping from below my armpit to below my breast
-A tree (leafless, and with it's roots) starting at my lower back and ending at my shoulders, with lots of branches
-Maybe really small plugs- I hate the big ones
Maybe I'm totally vain, but I'm obsessed with body mods. I don't know why. Ever since I've studied the Mayan religion and culture, I got crazy over them. It gets my parents pissed because they think its retarded, and they seem to relate everything I do to them- rubbing skin off with erasers (totally random, and not my dumb idea, by the way- it was Taylor's, and we were bored in art...), my crazy hairstyles and clothing, schoolwork... the list goes on.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Stuff
Hmm... i have like nothing to write about... Detentions? I got my first one yesterday (my first because my old school didn't have them). For "vandalism". My friend and I were picking at the already picked at and peeling paint on a table. :P Well...
I seem to be making a ton of friends at my new school. I eat lunch in the library every day with my new friends Zoe and Amy (cafeteria phobia). The only thing that's kind of annoying though is that Amy always feels the need to report to me who likes me. Ive counted about 16 so far. X/
Bye bye....
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Mohawk
(as you can see I am so bored that I feel the need to talk about someones hair...)
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Brunch and dizzisodes
"You frigging mustard head!"
"Why you little relish head!"
"Damn it, you random condiment head!"
Vaguely similar to the present... Ugh- I went to breakfast my parents today to some fancy little cafe/ restaurant thing. A couple years ago, we would be talking about school, my sports and art, future plans, etc... Now, all they could talk about was the liquor store. Stock, customers, pricing, wine tastings! It seems that’s all they talk about now, and they are certainly crabbier than they were a couple years ago. I can't imagine how pleasant they must have been before they had kids. Whew!
I seem to be getting dizzier and dizzier every week; it has seriously come to be annoying. Every time I stand up I almost faint. How the hell am I supposed to participate in gym with my joints and dizzisodes? I don’t want to seem like one of those barbies who can't participate in volley ball because they don’t want to chip a nail (which, by the way, can be extremely aggravating if you actually have nails, cough cough), or like I am anorexic or something (believe me, I probably eat more than I should). I hate when people think that. I would give anything to play sports like a normal person, but I can't, so I'm, screwed. People don't get that.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Hmmm... Smoking Cinnamon?
Weirdness, love, and half baked suger cookies
I was thinking about the way I used to act when I switched to my old school. I thought it was incredibly fun to act like someone else. Not a specific "someone else", but to pick a new personality and to act on it. I kind of realized I was doing that so no one knew the real me, so no one could get to know me better... but then I started loosing touch with my old friends rapidly from lack of communication, and I was left with no one. I don't get why I kept pushing myself to be someone else... but I did, and it ruined my rep, and the people I wanted to be friends with. I have these weird, deep-in-thought periods when I'm supposed to be doing home work on the computer... :)
I made sugar cookies yesterday and forgot to refrigerate the dough. They made everyone sick XD
Everything seems to be turning out half-raw these days
(oh the motherfuckin' DRAMA! Please, im just experimenting with writing here...)
Monday, August 27, 2007
Gaterade Shots
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Bearded Dragon
One of my friends (justalifeofrosita.blogspot) is over, and we are trying to perfect our blogs... quite a lot of mishaps have been going on with her backgrounds, but it looks pretty cool now.
I have pretty much nothing to write now, so off I go-o...
Mini Oreos
Sorry, had to get that out of the way.
Well, I have to go be forced to eat a canoli now, so I'll hopefully get to work on this later...
Kickass Books
- A Great and Terrible Beauty
- Blood and Chocolate
- Blue Bloods
- Children of the River
- Circue Du Freak
- Dangerous Angels
- Dark Secrets Don't Tell
- Eclipse
- Faerie Wars
- Heir Apparent
- I am not Esther
- Ironside
- Lemonade Mouth
- Masquerade
- Midnight Predator
- New Moon
- Prom Nights From Hell
- Rebel Angels
- Sloppy Firsts
- Tantalize
- the Bermudez Triangle
- the Extras
- the Mists of Avalon
- the Pretties
- The Queen of Dreamland
- the Speacials
- the Uglies
- the Unseen 1, 2, 3, 4
- the Valiant
- Tithe
- Twilight
- When I Was A Teenage Fairy



