Nuns and KFC

I was at New Port Creamery this fine evening, and we were discussing religion. Now, if you've read my profile, you'll well know I'm an atheist. No offence, and don't go off at me in the comments. I really don't care what you think. But anyways, I was thinking about how if some scientist dude found out how to make a living cell from scratch, or discovered how the first cell came to be, that the government would probably obscure that information from being publicly known. Why, you ask? Because it would cause a freakin' uproar, that's why. All those religions out there would attack that one (or many) guy. Plus, if people actually believed this dude, then there would be a severe damage to our economy. Religion is worth billions.

I also managed to exclaim "Jesus Christ!" at the table, and minuets later found this priest guy giving me the evil eye. It was fucking hilarious. He had this ginormous frosted glass cross banging on his chest. He looked super strict, and his wife looked like she had been sucking on a lemon for a good hour. Either that, or she had some large, unknown object shoved up her ass.

Another funny thing that had to do with food: my friends and I were eating ice-cream at the mall once in the food court, and we saw these two nuns eating friend chicken with cokes. Actual cokes. There were in full dress, too- robes, HUGE crosses, those hat things... We managed to take a picture on one of my friends cell.

Gah... I sound so tremendously boring in this post. It dismays me greatly.

:)

Tot ziens,

Me

(May no offence come to you, if you are indeed religious- I'm just enjoying being my plain old rude self :)

Me complaining about being depressed- move on to the previous post, if you will

I feel the need to express my sorrow and annoyance to you, Internet stranger.

Yesterday I was 5 feet away from being hit by this drunk driver that was being chased high-speed by 3 cop cars. Scary.

I stuck my hand in the fan of one of the coolers at our store. Ouch.

I counted about 8 guys who tried to pick me up yesterday while I was walking down town. Joy.

I won't be seeing my parents any more, they're too busy. I don't blame them, but I feel pissed that I'm pissed about it.

I have something weird with my blood that's been going on for years that is currently unidentified.

Now I'm just pissed at myself for not caring about school and letting (some of) my grades get bad in the gifted program.

Huh, life sucks, doesn't it? The funny thing is that I know there are people out there who have worse lives than my teenage, self-pitied one.

Hey, I don't really care, but tell me how horrid (or good) your week has been in the comments. That should give me some source of entertainment and give me something to think about for some five minuets.


Random + last minuet thought:

I was some British man for performing arts today selling boot legged pets. Here's the script, I was the shop keeper (and Harry):

(fast paced)

Man: Good morning, I'd like to buy a cat.
Shopkeeper: Certainly sir. I've got a lovely terrier. [indicates a box on the counter]
Man: no, I want a cat really.
Shopkeeper: [taking box off counter and then putting it back on counter as if it is a different box] Oh yeah, how about that?
Man: [looking in box] No, that's the terrier.
Shopkeeper: Well, it's as near as dammit.
Man: Well what do you mean? I want a cat.
Shopkeeper: Listen, tell you what. I'll file its legs down a bit, take its snout out, stick a few wires through its cheeks. There you are, a lovely pussy cat.
Man: Its not a proper cat.
Shopkeeper: What do you mean?
Man: Well it wouldn't miaow.
Shopkeeper: Well it would howl a bit.
Man: No, no, no, no. Er, have you got a parrot?
Shopkeeper: No, I'm afraid not actually guv, we're fresh out of parrots. I'll tell you what though ... I'll lop its back legs off, make good, strip the fur, stick a couple of wings on and staple on a beak of your own choice. [taking small box and rattling it] No problem. Lovely parrot.
Man: How long would that take?
Shopkeeper: Oh, let me see ... er, stripping the fur off, no legs ... [calling] Harry! Can you do a parrot job on this terrier straight away?
Harry: [off-screen] No, I'm still putting a tuck in the Airedale, and then I got the frogs to let out.
Shopkeeper: Friday?
Man: No I need it for tomorrow. It's a present.
Shopkeeper: Oh dear, it's a long job. You see parrot conversion ... Tell you what though, for free, terriers make lovely fish. I mean I could do that for you straight away. Legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe through the back of its neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint, make good ...
Man: You'd need a very big tank.
Shopkeeper: It's a great conversation piece.
Man: Yes, all right, all right ... but, er, only if I can watch.

Sex Dolls? WTF?!

Alright, I was watching this (46:52 long) "documentary" on sex dolls. It wasn't even a spoof, I assure you it was all quite serious. Sappy background music and all. This was my face for forty minuets: O.o wtf (um, I don't exactly know why I was watching this, but it just kind of popped up...so I watched it...)

So, during the "documentary", they show all of these middle-aged men talking about their "loving partners" and them explaining how kissing is a bit awkward for them (this one came with a removable tongue...) and stuff. There's this black emo guy talking about how "in the beginning, it was just sex sex sex. But that we really got to know and love each other through all these years" or something. It showed him making out with it! UGH. First of all, if you need sex that bad, and your unable to obtain it, there are plenty of people willing to sell it. It shouldn't be that hard. That would be cheaper than buying a $6,000-10,000 piece of PLASTIC.

Here's the video if you want to enjoy making fun of it, I certainly did... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3710987618964917848&q=sex+doll+documentary&total=9&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=8

Excuse all the capitals and shit, by the way.

Peacies!

*extra random thought: yippi! Someone finally came out with melon-mint gum! I've been waiting for this moment for a year... I always mixed melon and mint...

Raver Techno and Screwups...and zombies

Uuuuuugh. Tired.

Zoe slept over to work on our science project...which was due last week. We have the hardest topic. The lung cells. There is NO fucking info on them. It's a tissue, for Jamie's sake! We didn't get a lot done, and we promised my parental units it would be done yesterday. We ended up listening the raver techno until 3:00 am. It was fun I guess. Except for the fact that I'm not allowed to study with anyone ever again, due to lack of progress.

Zoe took some pictures of me posing in the creepy glow of the computer- I'll post them later when she Es them over.

I sound HALF-DEAD. Moans... stab-stab-stab.

Eighty-eights. Peacies.

Fortune Cookies and Condoms

xD! I ate this fortune cookie today, and it said: pat yourself on the pat for making the right choice. Then I remembered this condom I found in the bathroom (eek! My mothers, presumably), and I taped the fortune to it. Can't wait till she finds it...

toodles,
me

Guys! I'm so bored! Email me; it’s in the top right corner. I don’t care who you are, I just need some human interaction quick!

Rachel Ray Sucks!

Teehee. We found a porno website that wasn't blocked on the school system... well, I didn't find it, but some other guy did, so we went around and opened the page on all of the computers. In case you were wondering what it was, it's www.rachelraysucks.com.

When I transferred to my current school, I realized how perverted this age group was! It's like a fucking sexual kaleidoscope, that's how many couples there are. Alright, I'm not saying that I'm asexual or anything, but this is the year it's obvious everyone wants a boyfriend/girlfriend (or could it be sex?). OK, so I do want a boyfriend, but I just haven’t met anyone that I actually like in this school. The one guy I was kind of interested in is the only person I haven’t spoken to in my grade. I'm not even kidding. Either he doesn’t talk to anyone (which is completely untrue), or he's avoiding me. That kind of makes me laugh. Whatever, I dont really care. Why focus on that stuff when there so much else?

Bleach! Very cliché post, I'll have to try harder than this :)

Peace.

Blood

I had to leave school early yesterday, in the middle of a test, because I was getting really dizzy and hot and I couldn't concentrate. This happens often. The nurse checked my blood pressure or whatever, and it was really, really low. I couldn't really feel my pulse today. Guys, there really is something wrong with me. Even though it effects my joints too, it's been pretty obvious that it has to do with my blood. I get pounding headaches and burning eyes, and most of the time when I get up everything goes black and fuzzy, and then normal. It's really scary. Am I going to die or something?

I'm still waiting to go get all the stupid tests done... going back to the doctors for the hundredth time on Monday. Lots of blood tests to be done. Blood blood blood. It's weird. I like blood, but I hate it when other people but myself take it from me.

the unfairity (?) of it all

FUUUUUCK! My dad changed my password on aim. I can’t even read my mail. I feel like committing suicide, that's how depressing it is. I rely on my PC for everything (they changed the pass on that too...)!

*just remembered! They haven't seized my gmail (which remains blissfully anonymous to them), so you can email me there: Athene.of.the.Crows@gmail.com

Yesterday in performing arts, I was a transgendered, pyro-lesbian. It was fun. Today I was some lady named Alice who lost her husband in a car accident enjoying a caramel frappaccino at Starbucks. It was stupid.

Gah! I was drinking some bottle of sticky, bright pink medicine lying on my back in the tub, and my brother randomly came in and threw something at me, which provoked my killer-cat-reflexes (!)... I ended up accidentally pouring the whole bottle down into my face and neck. It was gross. I had crunchy pink hair for about an hour.

I gave myself another henna, but all I had time for was my palm. It's got a crescent moon in the center with a star inside of it, the triple goddess sign under that (except I put some sun rays coming out from under the full moon for some reason), some dots above that, and a circlely pattern up my fingers and around the moons. I’ll post it if I can get my hands on my mom’s camera.

I'm writing a short story for English, and it’s about this girl smoking marijuana and overcoming peer pressure or whatever. It's cool.

OK, so writing about random things is all I can come up with today...so... get over it.

Poetry

If you steal my poetry, I will track you down and kill you, and then bury you in my ex's backyard (its called a tracker, you dumb ass). OK, hey guys! So, yeah, here's some poetry I've written- but it doesn't sound half as good, cause blogger wouldn't let me keep their original fonts...

her eyes are like beads

lifeless and cold

her face is like porcelain

broken and old

her hair is like flax

moldy yet golden

her dress is like gauze

mossy and broken

her cheeks are pale

lips shining like rubies

she cries through the dark

if only if only

the trees parade

in masquerade

their branches in mid-sway

the creepers creep

and loved ones weep

yet no tears

seep from their eyes

as they are laid

goodbyes are bade

the night no longer night

say goodbye for them

from me

while their faces

bask in blight

(I removed some of them)

Hahaha, I hope you enjoyed my crappy poems. If your in a good mood, consider rating them for me and putting it in the comments. I love knowing what I can improve on...

Ice skating and smooching windows

<- Me (pink lips and funky scarf), Rosie (red lips), Mio' (purple lips), Zoe (maroon sweater) and Andrew (fake cheesy white smile). Let me make this clear, I'm not attempting to hit on Andrew, the cameras at a bad angle... he's been my friend for three years- no ideas.
(as you can see, I had myself some fun with Paint)

Had the most fun ice skating this week with friends. We planned to go at 10, but they opened at 12, so we all had to pile in a car and chill at my house for a while...

When we went back, there wasn't enough room in our car (seven seats), so Rosie and I had to squish in the trunk. We sat facing the window, and every time a car came up, we started smooching the windshield- it was hilarious (especially when they're old people :)! There was this one gross guy who actually seemed to be enjoying it, but that pretty much made it even funnier for us... anywho, i guess I should get off and do my homework. C yas.

Random injuries

My family and I have the weirdest conversations at dinner... Tonight was injuries, so I thought I'd tell you about mine. Here are the most memorable:

1. I was watching TV with a wine glass in my hand and I was really tired. I squeezed it, and thought I saw it bend (matrix!!:). I squeezed it again, and it shattered. Blood everywhere. Somehow this big piece of glass sliced through the tip of my finger when I squeezed it. It was really weird- I couldn’t really feel any pain (because of shock, I guess), but I was really panicked and crying because I thought I deformed my finger... which didn’t happen- the tip reattached itself... Couldn’t fully use right hand for 4-5 weeks
2. During gymnastics I did some flip thing and whacked my foot on the edge of the radiator lining the walls... The edge gauged a whole in the side of my foot, really deep, too. I had trouble walking for about a week. Foot looks normal, no scar anymore.
3. Gymnastics, again: foot caught in the spring of a trampoline... limping for about a week and a half.
4. Gymnastics... walking on my hands with wrist supports on a wooden floor. Slipped, hit shoulder/chin/elbow.
5. Metal works- drip of melted lead landed on hand... major fucking ouch! Couldn’t take it off until it cooled.
6. Hot glue guns... you get the picture
7. Oven cooling rack, burned hand.
8. Walking home with a bag of groceries. Dropped it, picked it up, and ended up with a piece of a glass jar stuck in my arm right over a vein (got yelled at all the while for dropping stuff).
9. Scraped foot in a pool.

Blood, blood, blood! Lots of blood.

Jeez! After all of this crap, I don't have any scars. It’s weird. Whatever, hoped you enjoyed that as much as I did :)

Shalom, bro.

(eek! It's 2008! Happy New Year)